I wish that I could just fully let go

I wish that those words you sent me had made me angry

Or built up some bitterness inside

So I could use it as a crutch and push off the feelings of sadness for just a bit longer

But it hit me like a ton of bricks

And I’m still off balance from it


I should never have let myself think it could really happen

I should never have thought that I had a chance with you

I should never have told you my hopes and dreams


I should have known what would happen if I got close to you

Just like everyone else that has gotten close to you


Hell, you even told me what happens to people who get too close

Why did I ever think I would be any different


But even after all this

I’m not angry

Not even sad

Just empty and disappointed


A million fish in the sea, yes

But only one you

And I can’t have you